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For all the comics fans furious with DC/Zack Snyder/Hollywood in general committing what was tantamount to rape in making the graphic novel Watchmen into a movie (against his will), into a series of pre-Watchmen comic books (without his permission), turning it into a motion comic (which few sane persons would ever want), a likely movie sequel (why even bother) and the eventual inevitable descent into the realm of bedsheets, toilet paper, and condoms (ok, that’s only if Gene Simmons gets his hands on the property) count Alan Moore as one of your brethren.
Fused with the kick-ass, seek and destroy attitude of Liam Neeson’s Bryan Mills, whose baby was also kidnapped in the movie Taken, Moore insists he will make it his life mission to hunt down and kill those responsible.
The plot, as it is, is fairly straightforward: Someone at DC presumably offers to make Moore a deal. “You can have the rights back to everything you want,“ offers the weaselly exec-type, sounding like something out of the Bourne franchise. “In return, we get more. We get to do sequels, prequels, whatever we want, whenever we want.”
The result, utilizing footage of New York from numerous films, the guy playing Moore perfectly apes his smoky, Berkhamshire affect quite well — and also has the bizarre rings to boot. Predictably, Moore insists that he’s not interested in negotiation after having his franchise proverbially raped. But like Mills in Taken, what Moore possesses “is a very particular set of skills… if you return the rights to Watchmen, I will not look for you, or pursue you…but if you don’t, I will look for you and I will find you and I will kill you.”
While it’s somewhat doubtful Moore cares that much anymore, there’s a part of me that can’t help but think it’s not like he’d mind…
Either way, this is part one, and I can’t help but wonder if we’ll get some specifics on whom at DC will be tied up and have their balls electrocuted for being the most directly responsible. In the meantime, get yourself a fix of Cultof Smack, and the possibility of revenge many of you always wanted.
Jeff Nau – who has written 1264 posts on The Jace Hall Show.
Jeff Nau is a main contributor to the Jace Hall Show covering pop culture and music trends in the nerd community. He has contributed to San Diego City Beat, 944, and Ill Literature, amongst others, and spends his spare time working as an artist and photographer.

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