Piranha 3DD: Excessive Cleavage, David Hasselhoff, Ving Rhames, and Gary Busey. Anything Else You Need to Know?

Written By Jeff Nau

…just because you like to watch (okay, didn’t mean for that to come across as dirty as it did). But really, this has everything for the tasteful-averse and tacky — or basically, everything you could want in a straight-to-DVD cheap-ass horror movie about giant carnivorous fish called Piranha 3 Double D’s.

That’s right, in addition to gratuitous boobs, this glorious feast for the eyes includes Ving Rhames attaching a pair of shotguns to the stumps where his severed legs used to be and blasting fish into lots of little bloody pieces. Finally a movie that we can relate to!

If that’s not enough, how about Gary Busey flashing those gigantic chompers, undoubtedly speaking lines that make no sense? Christopher Lloyd also stars in what’s probably the film’s old sea dog role.
And of course, tons and tons of silicone-enhanced breasts bouncing in glorious slow-motion (y’know, if you don’t mind that sort of thing).

David Hasselhoff plays himself, and one can only hope he’ll also get to play himself drunk on one of the yachts. Do you need any more reasons to be in line opening day (or maybe run screaming for the hills)? Yay, boobs.

The second teaser was just released below, but unfortunately, you’ll still have to wait until 2012 to see the whole film in its glory.

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