The 5 Worst Black Friday Fails (Ever)?

The Mayans predict the world will all but end on December 21, 2012, when the galactic alignment places the Sun in the center of the Milky Way Galaxy.

But the Mayans were never privy to “Black Friday”, a more modern symbol that man-kind is expediting the disaster process. We don’t need the tedium of Cosmology to predict the world might be coming to a close, these videos below put any asteroid, disease, famine, or alien life form to shame.

For those of you who may have been busy on more important matters, like sleeping, and missed out on Black Friday, here are some of the biggest fails which encompass why
inventing YouTube was subsequently one of the greatest and worst things to ever happen to man-kind:

Wal-mart Shoppers Embarrass America

This headline arguably works on any Tuesday as much as it works for Black Friday, but the video below, which has already been seen by the millions, says almost everything you need to know…

For many of us that have never encountered a Black Friday, the video is almost too shocking for words. It’s hard to believe that anything like this could ever exist in a society that (clearly) still has plenty of food to eat and isn’t in a dire struggle for survival.

Memory Cards!!!

For those of you evolved to AVCHD, Flash Hard Drives, or P2 cards three years ago, this might be all the more shocking to you.

Sit back and watch the agony of people fight…over memory cards and cheap cameras.

Best line honors go to the One Angry Guy who says:

“Get off my foot.”

…who isn’t outdone by the Second Angry Guy who rebukes:

“Get your hand out of my pocket.”

Pepper Spray Gives Shopper a Decisive Advantage

Consider this “Wal Mart embarrasment” number two. (Which would make this one number three). Not since a Wal-Mart temp died after being stampeded on has Wal Mart ever looked so bad, but the case where a woman pepper sprayed the competition on her way to a discounted XBOX 360 (congratulations, you waited 5 years to get the system) might just take the cake.

About 20 Wal-Mart shoppers complained of burning eyes and sore throats after the incident, a small price to pay for the gift of an Xbox (albeit whoever receives the gift will have to wonder why it smells like frankincense and myrrh).

(Mall) Cops Arrest 54 Year Old Man For Allegedly Stealing a Video Game

The video below shows the man being arrested for allegedly stealing a video game. But according to a CNN iReporter (a fancy way of saying a “person that had a voice”) he was doing anything but:

David Chadd said Newman “was not resisting” arrest as he was led away from the crowd by a police officer.

You’re innocent until you’re proven guilty…unless you’re shopping on Black Friday; if the cops won’t get you, the other customers will, consider yourself warned.

Towels!!!!

That’s right…towels. Not to be confused with rags, toiler paper, or old-shirts-you’ll-never-wear-anymore, these super absorbent pieces of cloth were raffled off to a crowd of wal-marters (notice a trend) who rivaled the waffle groupies above:

If SuperMarket Sweep found a way to merge with Homefront’s 32 person multi-player, it would probably looks something like the above. And suddenly Michael Bay has his next film idea…

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