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Another week already, huh? Time flies when your waiting through host migrations.
Here are this week’s ultra super important and oh-so-shiny gaming headlines.
Grand Theft Auto V Release Date Set
Well, sort of…. the long-awaited GTA sequel is confirmed for release this Spring, a shocking twist for a major title to not try to release within days of 17 other major titles in November.
Upon hearing this information, FOX News immediately ceased their coverage of Hurricane Sandy, announcing a season-long series that ignores the existence of the ESRB ratings system and the existence of parenting.
Achievement Unlocked: 10G – They have time to prepare their latest Rated M game “expose” now. Cue the laugh track.
Sandy Unearths the Triforce
Hurricane Sandy upended trees, cars and Nintendo superfan Isaiah Triforce Johnson, who was forced out of his way-way-way early line to be the first to buy the Nintendo Wii U, temporarily anyway.
After Triforce left the line, CNN reported that a jogger had just been injured elsewhere in New York City when a tree limb snapped off and hit the person.
Achievement Unlocked: 20G – Ya’ll call Triforce crazy, yet someone went jogging while a hurricane was making landfall. Get a treadmill.
Iowa Town Proclaims Friday as “Wreck-It Ralph Day”
The very same town that declared itself Video Game Capital of the World in 1982 has issued another video game based proclamation this week. Ottumwa, Iowa has declared this Friday to be “Wreck-It Ralph Day” in honor of Disney’s new animated film, which takes place in a world of video gaming.
Before folks ask why a small Iowa town would or could do such a thing, Walter Day, the famed video game referee that originally founded Twin Galaxies as an arcade in the town, appears to be the basis for Wreck-It Ralph‘s Mr. Litwak.
Achievement Unlocked: 30G – Any similarities to persons living or dead is not really coincidental, they just say that so they don’t gotta cut a check.
Speaking of Disney Writing Checks
In a move that will no doubt eventually have an impact on video gaming, Disney purchased Lucasfilm this week for a bajillion-kajillion dollars, enough to run a presidential campaign for three weeks.
Already announced is the upcoming film Star Wars: Episode VII and game Lego Angry Birds Star Wars Clubhouse: Goofy and Jar Jar’s Excellent Adventure. It’s better with Kinect®.
Achivement Unlocked: 40G – Try to picture the crowd at the Mos Eisley Cantina now.
G4′s X-Play and Attack of the Show are Unplugged
The last remaining video game and tech programming on G4tv got cancellation notices this week as the network shifts away from that type of programming for an upcoming rebranding focused on the “modern male”, reportedly in the style of GQ Magazine or something like that. Some reports say this will be called G4Men, a name that sounds like a crappy knockoff of a popular comic book brand.
Cops reruns don’t seem so bad now, do they?
Achievement Unlocked: 50G – I can sense the smell of unmanly shoes and way too much cologne already.
That wraps it up for this week. The next few weeks will see the releases of 99.9999998 percent of the games we all saw at E3 this year, so buckle up for safety now.
Patrick Scott Patterson – who has written 91 posts on The Jace Hall Show.
Patrick Scott Patterson is a Video game personality & historian who has been gaming since 1981. He contributes two weekly columns for The Jace Hall Show: "This Week In Video Game History" and "This Week in Gaming News".

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